Fairfax, VA, USA. Sharon and I are married. Not in the eyes of the Commonwealth of Virginia, not in the eyes of the Government of the United States, and certainly not in the eyes of the Internal Revenue Service or various religious sects.
If some god is above us, some divine creator without which none of this would be, I am certain he would bless us. Would a god deny our love just so he or she could angrily exercise some godly reasoned distinction originally intended to encourage the human pair bond and discourage the male of the species from raping the female every time some passing male desired sex?
In any event, no god has smote us over the years we have been pair bonded. Perhaps we get a free ride because of the eight children we have between us. Perhaps the prohibitions are man’s and not god’s.
It matters not. Sharon and I are married, pair bonded, ‘til death do us part and all that.
We do not plan to have more children. Not that we don’t like babies and not that we wouldn’t raise them, but from a practical standpoint that we don’t want to have teenagers in the house when we are old. It wouldn’t be fair to our children.
Children, after all, are the reason many of us transitioned later in life. We had responsibilities we could not, in good conscience, shirk. You can’t throw off your children like they were a dirty sweatshirt.
A child is a minimum twenty or thirty year commitment. The parent-child bond is forever and neither Sharon nor I were willing to break that commitment simply because we were women born transsexual. We could no more stop being parents than we could change who we are.
Some things are more important than politics, religion, or making yourself whole. At the top of that list are your children.
My biological kids live close by. We see them often and have them over on holidays. Sharon’s biological children are more dispersed and she sees them less frequently.
All of seven of them are our children. We do not arbitrarily divide them into yours and mine. We are not the Commonwealth of Virginia or the Government of the United States.
We remain true parents to all our children and true to the ancient commitment.
Before the four corners of the universe, in eyes of space and time, and with all the stars as our witness, we are married for as long as time itself may last. No alien species visiting Earth for the first time would find us otherwise.
- The vows you are about to take are to be made in the presence of God,
- who is judge of all and knows all the secrets of our hearts;
- therefore if either of you knows a reason why you may not lawfully marry,
- you must declare it now. [N1]
We know no reason we are not married.
- Lisa,will you take Sharon to be your wife and partner;
- Sharon,will you take Lisa to be your wife and partner?
- Will you love her, comfort her, honour and protect her, and, forsaking all others,
- be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?
We do and have and shall.
- God our Father,
from the beginning
you have blessed creation with abundant life.
Pour out your blessings upon Lisa and Sharon,
that they may be joined in mutual love and companionship,
in holiness and commitment to each other.
We ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ your Son,
who is alive and reigns with you,
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, now and forever.
Amen.
The human heart knows no boundaries, recognizes no skin colors, and seldom bothers to check on the genitalia before it falls in love.
I can’t explain love, I have the barest understanding of the pair bond that has co-existed with the human species for ten million years. I do know that it is better to sleep with someone you love than to sleep alone.
Romantic love is a relatively recent cultural development; the pair bond is ancient, predating the emergence of modern humans. Romantic love is a white hot fire that can consume the lovers. The pair bond strikes slower but it is the stronger of the two.
Historically, marriage has recognized the pair bond, making it a legal entity. That the state would deny legal pair bond recognition to gays and lesbians is arbitrary and capricious in a nation whose constitution firmly separates the legal system from religion.
In a world where the rush of romantic love is often confused with the pair bond, the resulting marriage can be fragile, unable to withstand the long term day to day stress of living with another person. [N2] Lesbians and Gays hold no secret magic potion that makes their marriages enduring and their love everlasting.
But neither, then, do heterosexual marriages.
Failure is always an option.
Partners cheat. Wives on their husbands; husbands on their wives, politicians on most everyone it seems.
Divorce happens.
Same Sex Marriage’s biggest impact on society is on the number of cases divorce lawyers handle. It’s a growth industry.
But if the probability of divorce was a valid argument against marriage, none of us, straight or gay, would ever marry, would we?
Marriage is hope for the future, a declaration to a seemingly uncaring universe that we are here, Sharon and I, as long as the sun shines, the rivers flow, and the grass grows on earth’s green hills.
- Raise high the roof beams, carpenters;
Sing joyfully and rejoice:
We are married in our love
Until death do we part;
Bride and bride, one heart,
Before the universe and all the gods. [N3]
[N2] I don’t even want to talk about hot primate lust which leads us all into so many unwise decisions.
[N3] Lisa Jain Thompson c. 2010 C. E.
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Starpoetby Lisa Jain Thompson.
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